Recently,
I was reading a blog and posted some comments.
Haha...
Even when I posted the comments,
I had to think twice before I posted it.
I thought I should regrouping my idea.
The topic was about "Change & Origin"
----- following I prefer using present tense -----
----- & I do not mean to do anythings, just my personal point of view after I have gone through 22 years in my life -----
----- & I just an IT people without learning any psychology -----
Have you ever understand who are you?
Even myself also not really sure who am I.
(Sorry to the person I commenting... Even myself also cannot give a accurate answer...)
The logically & simple answer shall be "A creature who lives in the Earth"
Or to be more accurately "A member of the species Homo sapiens" -- extracted from dictionary or wiki
Sorry, I am talking some rubbish again... XP
I believe,
Since babe,
people has started to change,
Along the all the way.
In the earlier stage (babe stage)
people who influence you a lots is your family.
Under this stage,
you are taught by them about don't & do.
Of course,
you will always follow them.
Moving to 2nd stage (primary student stage)
people who influence you a lots are your friends & teachers.
In most cases,
every time you found out something different and your family never teach you,
you will tend to learn it.
Then the 3rd stage (secondary student stage)
a stage where you started to think.
However,
you will still do not have the determination of right and wrong.
And this goes with your friends.
Until the final stage (high school or working stage)
then only you are given some determination of right and wrong.
I just summary out the process for the usual cases.
When talking about your identity/personality/characteristics or the more accurate word, your "origin".
No doubt...
My selection is gone to the moment that I appear in the world.
That is the most 'origin' about me without any influences from third parties.
The one most understand my 'origin' shall be my family.
Even myself,
frequently asking the same questions to me "Who are you?",
cannot get an answer.
Because I,
myself cannot even understand myself.
& I remember the first time I ask this question is Standard 1.
& I have no idea why I come out this stupid question all in sudden in my mind.
During my secondary school life,
or more accurately in upper secondary school life.
I feel that all the people surrounded me is that faked.
Faked because of do not want any troublesome things to be happened*
At that period,
I was no confident in who am I talking with,
because even myself also do not know what am I doing now.
Is liked everything is locked,
what I needed to do is follow the rule & schedule.
I ask myself, what do the meaning of 'freedom' bring?
Now,
I think that,
a human,
should be divided into 2 layers.
Origin & Will (Wall),
Origin is a 'thing' or your truth self,
Will or can be said as a firewall,
that set a rule to control your Origin.
(I use the word will because I played a game & one of the attribute is 'Will Power' which to control your defense power against the physical & magical attack)
The Will here is to rule your physical body not to act as what Origin wants to be.
& I always think that,
you will never behave as you anymore since the existence of the Will.
Of course,
no one born to be perfect,
which mean the one who has a perfect Origin without setting the Will. (Sound like a character who default defense is infinity)
When talking about Change,
in my word that is setting some rules in your Will.
Originally,
you are a lazy people.
You tend to change to a hardworking people,
in your Will,
you make a rule "do not lazy".
Whether you can really change to the ideal people you want is depending on how strong your Will is.
For girl case,
Originally,
you are a fat people.
You set a rule "I want to eat less" in your Will.
and the rest has to depend on how strong the Will is.
XP
*PS - Sorry for making a serious topic include some funny game stuff
Thursday, 9 January 2014
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
2014 January 07 - The Road
Although I had 1.5 years more before I graduated,
I still struggling in with my future.
Meanwhile,
everybody was troublesome with semester end examination,
It seemed like nothing for me anymore...
After I had entered university life;
After I had my interest in study;
After I had been advice by the old generation;
After I had researched the road could be taken after I graduated;
I felt that the examination was a matter of preparation throughout the whole semester,
And I agreed what I disagreed last time,
teacher said examination was a way to examine whether the preparation had done or not.
OMG...
But really,
If you were prepared,
you could still playing computer game as the next day would be a paper waiting for you.
Honestly,
that was what I had done last semester.
I always regretted as I moved too slow.
while the people around the world had started to stay forward since they were young.
However,
I also glad that I remained blur in my secondary school life as most of the people had spoiled their future upon the wrong choice selection.
Too many cases happened around me,
There was no way for me to not to believe it
Sincerely,
why 21?
Because this is an age which you could start to think maturely and steadily.
Well,
There were quite lots of field that I could enter after I graduated.
The summarize result was to Work or to Study
But still,
I tended to poison myself away from the selection.
It was a tough decision making.
AND I HAD STRUGGLING SINCE LAST SEMESTER.
Endless of escaping reasons,
but the time did not wait for me.
no matter how I escape,
in the end,
the question still waiting for my answer.
Maybe this was called coward?
I had get many kinds of advice.
If you tends to earn money, Study is not you choice, You should come out to work and set up you own business.
If you wants to know more, Study is a way for you to learn deeply and more.
It depends on what you actually want, ask yourself, you want to study or to work.
In IT field, there is no way for study Master as it changes rapidly.
Current working salary does not really matches what you are entitle for, Study is the choice to raise your opportunity.
The advice had no right and wrong.
It was depends on the environment.
Having Master title entitle for RM3k basic salary (3 years past record)
Having Bachelor title entitle for RM2.5k basic salary (3 years past record)
Studying Master would use minimum 2 years to maximum 4 years ( depends on the lecturer you met)
during this period studying Master, each month scholar for 1.7k-1.8k but study fees waived
during the period of working, each month RM2.5k with allowance (total is around 3k+) and each year you would have some increment + bonus.
when the time you graduated from Master, you went to have a job, you were starting at 3k and the Bachelor who was working in for 2 years had raised the salary to 3k+..........
However,
this was what I had get in 3 years back...
One biggest disappointment when I get a offer letter from the company that I interned in.
I was very happy in getting the offer.
However,
when I further to see the figure,
The gross salary was good but the basic salary did not meet the target I wanted,
perhaps was the amount did not matched as what I first came into the company.
Study,
I could get 1.7k-1.8k scholarship with tuition fees waived. (If your application success)
And each time if I submitted a paper,
I could get another 0.8k each month from the firm and max up to 2.5k (depends on the lecturer)
And this made me whether to continue Study or Work.
Perhaps this was as a male perspective...
Money was the important part for male in their life...
男人不系为钱烦，就系为女烦...
I asked myself "What do I want actually?"
I could not get any answer.
"Depends on which road can actually make my future life more meaningful"
perhaps this was the answer I want.
As grown up,
I realized that I sigh more than usual...
Is Life Liked That? Who know......
I still struggling in with my future.
Meanwhile,
everybody was troublesome with semester end examination,
It seemed like nothing for me anymore...
After I had entered university life;
After I had my interest in study;
After I had been advice by the old generation;
After I had researched the road could be taken after I graduated;
I felt that the examination was a matter of preparation throughout the whole semester,
And I agreed what I disagreed last time,
teacher said examination was a way to examine whether the preparation had done or not.
OMG...
But really,
If you were prepared,
you could still playing computer game as the next day would be a paper waiting for you.
Honestly,
that was what I had done last semester.
I always regretted as I moved too slow.
while the people around the world had started to stay forward since they were young.
However,
I also glad that I remained blur in my secondary school life as most of the people had spoiled their future upon the wrong choice selection.
Too many cases happened around me,
There was no way for me to not to believe it
Sincerely,
why 21?
Because this is an age which you could start to think maturely and steadily.
Well,
There were quite lots of field that I could enter after I graduated.
The summarize result was to Work or to Study
But still,
I tended to poison myself away from the selection.
It was a tough decision making.
AND I HAD STRUGGLING SINCE LAST SEMESTER.
Endless of escaping reasons,
but the time did not wait for me.
no matter how I escape,
in the end,
the question still waiting for my answer.
Maybe this was called coward?
I had get many kinds of advice.
If you tends to earn money, Study is not you choice, You should come out to work and set up you own business.
If you wants to know more, Study is a way for you to learn deeply and more.
It depends on what you actually want, ask yourself, you want to study or to work.
In IT field, there is no way for study Master as it changes rapidly.
Current working salary does not really matches what you are entitle for, Study is the choice to raise your opportunity.
The advice had no right and wrong.
It was depends on the environment.
Having Master title entitle for RM3k basic salary (3 years past record)
Having Bachelor title entitle for RM2.5k basic salary (3 years past record)
Studying Master would use minimum 2 years to maximum 4 years ( depends on the lecturer you met)
during this period studying Master, each month scholar for 1.7k-1.8k but study fees waived
during the period of working, each month RM2.5k with allowance (total is around 3k+) and each year you would have some increment + bonus.
when the time you graduated from Master, you went to have a job, you were starting at 3k and the Bachelor who was working in for 2 years had raised the salary to 3k+..........
However,
this was what I had get in 3 years back...
One biggest disappointment when I get a offer letter from the company that I interned in.
I was very happy in getting the offer.
However,
when I further to see the figure,
The gross salary was good but the basic salary did not meet the target I wanted,
perhaps was the amount did not matched as what I first came into the company.
Study,
I could get 1.7k-1.8k scholarship with tuition fees waived. (If your application success)
And each time if I submitted a paper,
I could get another 0.8k each month from the firm and max up to 2.5k (depends on the lecturer)
And this made me whether to continue Study or Work.
Perhaps this was as a male perspective...
Money was the important part for male in their life...
男人不系为钱烦，就系为女烦...
I asked myself "What do I want actually?"
I could not get any answer.
"Depends on which road can actually make my future life more meaningful"
perhaps this was the answer I want.
As grown up,
I realized that I sigh more than usual...
Is Life Liked That? Who know......
Monday, 6 January 2014
2013 December Update
Great exposure in Game Development!!
In this early of December,
I took part in an event named Photon CGM Game Jam 2013.
This event was organised in Exabyte Setia Walk with the help from Fun & Cool, and MSC sponsored.
The main purpose of this event was to train Malaysian in gaming sector.
This was a 2 day 1 night event,
which each team had to develop a game by using Unity & Photon Server.
36 hour unstoppable,
making my brain jam,
in order to learn unity and some 3D modelling tools.
End up with 3rd place...
Unexpected challenge was the photon server...
was hard to implement...
Also there was a team which was representative of a company...
Lesson learnt - the different between student and employee...
Here is my team...
come out from different year and different course...
Throughout the event,
I was more familiar with gaming industry...
and also more idea on my future career...
AGTIV FY2014
my last TGIF in AGTIV throughout my internship period..
The location was in INTI KL.
Listening to the talk and some team bulding activities
enjoy our dinner at Fish & Co in Pavilion...
Review was...
Fish not nice....
Other was good...
Teoh Teoh Open House Christmas Party
met some old friend,
met the new junior that I did not know...
and had fun together...
Did not forget about the last 2 days spent in AGTIV,
2 dinners with them,
having some delicious but expensive food,
never forget the scene with all the colleague... XD
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