What's now?
Again,
I muttered unconsciously..
this happened when I am home alone..
Family members had gone out,
doing their things or enjoying the event that they currently in..
I was shook that I could not find any other things to do other than playing around with the technology tools.
Again,
1 month had passed,
my laptop still not yet came back..
My feeling started to find somethings to do other then gaming..
Animation? It seemed like there was not any interesting anime released recently.
Comics? Even the normal story line I had chased already finished.
Ouch! What was this emptiness?
One sentence from my friend Calvin: "This show my life is fulled of enrichment"
But I could not even figure out something to enrich my life.
Since I was young,
I knew that after I grew up, my life was like "work + sleep + eat"...
Other then this, what could I do?
Listening the talks in TGIF from the company I currently interned in...
Having talk for example:
1. Service System
2. K2 platform
3. Oversea project
4. Fatherhood
5. Camera Introduction
6. Jewels in Visual Studio
7. Talk from boss
I was so impressed.
Perhaps I had been fished for 1 month,
the hunger inside of me was grown.
However, I still feeling that was not enough from what I had learnt.
Just that I was lack of exposure to the latest technology & did not have the exact directions to move.
For the technical coding skills I had,
I felt like this was nothing anymore...
Reason behind of it was because you would hardly to use your own methods to write the system.
There was always a standard or other alternative ways for you to call & use other people's methods.
Providing you must have some basic knowledge in how to write code.
That's all!
The important skills were management, planning & communication.
Perhaps I was changed again.
Those skills I mentioned above were the skill I was escaped all the way from school.
Troublesome......
Dream?
What is dream?
How am I find it?
I muttered once again...
I remembered the one of the interview with the manager in other company,
the manager asked: "What you wanted to be in future?"
and my respond was hesitated...
I learnt so much of things all the way I entered UM,
& yet I could not find something that could make me to work on it..
Maybe there was something stopped my progression, my idea, my opinion.
Now, I found the issue ---- Disagreement from family ----
Or in the other word,
"Family Burden"
However,
I felt a bit too late for me to continue my study now.
My footstep was far away from what other's pace was.
20 years old that I only started to touch the course.
When looked at other people especially in overseas,
I felt I like......
too much of inferior.
Looking at the project offered in the internet,
the feeling of "I still got far way to go" causing I felt there was no enough input to my live...
There are accountable profession in the world,
with the monstrous intelligent,
very confident with theirs skills.
I felt that the younger generation would be getting pity due to the great work from the older generation.
As same as what I was thought recently.
The knowledge increased dramatically,
Was that possible to finish all this things?
Sooner,
They would keep on split to other new categories?
No one known...
I was confused...
Which direction I should go?
So that I could survive under this competitive society...
As you had born in the world,
you had to follow the planning planned by your parents,
liked a puppet..
made you lacked of your thinking due to "what my parents said was always right/correct"
caused you could not live independently...
Sometimes, there was not good also for becoming a obedient child...
I wanted to leave from my house,
seeking the possibility for me to survive outside without the help from my family.
However,
my heart always told me not to do so due to the age of my parents...
I had the responsibility to take care of them...
Argh!
really,
I was dislike the bonding that sealed away my freedom...