2013 Aug 19: Confused

What's now?

Again,
I muttered unconsciously..
this happened when I am home alone..
Family members had gone out,
doing their things or enjoying the event that they currently in..
I was shook that I could not find any other things to do other than playing around with the technology tools.

Again,
1 month had passed,
my laptop still not yet came back..
My feeling started to find somethings to do other then gaming..
Animation? It seemed like there was not any interesting anime released recently.
Comics? Even the normal story line I had chased already finished.

Ouch! What was this emptiness?
One sentence from my friend Calvin: "This show my life is fulled of enrichment"
But I could not even figure out something to enrich my life.
Since I was young,
I knew that after I grew up, my life was like "work + sleep + eat"...
Other then this, what could I do?

Listening the talks in TGIF from the company I currently interned in...
Having talk for example:

1. Service System
2. K2 platform
3. Oversea project
4. Fatherhood
5. Camera Introduction
6. Jewels in Visual Studio
7. Talk from boss

I was so impressed.
Perhaps I had been fished for 1 month,
the hunger inside of me was grown.
However, I still feeling that was not enough from what I had learnt.
Just that I was lack of exposure to the latest technology & did not have the exact directions to move.

For the technical coding skills I had,
I felt like this was nothing anymore...
Reason behind of it was because you would hardly to use your own methods to write the system.
There was always a standard or other alternative ways for you to call & use other people's methods.
Providing you must have some basic knowledge in how to write code.
That's all!
The important skills were management, planning & communication.
Perhaps I was changed again.
Those skills I mentioned above were the skill I was escaped all the way from school.
Troublesome......

Dream?
What is dream?
How am I find it?
I muttered once again...

I remembered the one of the interview with the manager in other company,
the manager asked: "What you wanted to be in future?"
and my respond was hesitated...
I learnt so much of things all the way I entered UM,
& yet I could not find something that could make me to work on it..
Maybe there was something stopped my progression, my idea, my opinion.
Now, I found the issue ---- Disagreement from family ----
Or in the other word,
"Family Burden"

However,
I felt a bit too late for me to continue my study now.
My footstep was far away from what other's pace was.
20 years old that I only started to touch the course.
When looked at other people especially in overseas,
I felt I like......
too much of inferior.

Looking at the project offered in the internet,
the feeling of "I still got far way to go" causing I felt there was no enough input to my live...
There are accountable profession in the world,
with the monstrous intelligent,
very confident with theirs skills.
I felt that the younger generation would be getting pity due to the great work from the older generation.
As same as what I was thought recently.
The knowledge increased dramatically,
Was that possible to finish all this things?
Sooner,
They would keep on split to other new categories?
No one known...

I was confused...
Which direction I should go?
So that I could survive under this competitive society...

As you had born in the world,
you had to follow the planning planned by your parents,
liked a puppet..
made you lacked of your thinking due to "what my parents said was always right/correct"
caused you could not live independently...
Sometimes, there was not good also for becoming a obedient child...

I wanted to leave from my house,
seeking the possibility for me to survive outside without the help from my family.
However,
my heart always told me not to do so due to the age of my parents...
I had the responsibility to take care of them...

Argh!
really,
I was dislike the bonding that sealed away my freedom...

2013 Aug 08: KLCC Book Fair

Heading to KLCC today.

Because there is a event there.

Book Fair...

Perhaps due to the public holidays -- Hari Raya,

the place is crowded like a water molecules.

Having my lunch in the japanese restaurant...

because feeling not well this few days,

thus I choose a "Healthy Gozen" as my meal.

Inside the Book Fair,

terrible queue...

almost 10m long...

in order to purchase the entry ticket...

Wow!

Awesome!

I think I will not purchase any books from the book fair.

However, I accidentally see the books!!!!

-----SAO----- 

Gods!! I buy unconsciously...

Whole Series!!

Yet, I chase the latest in the web...

Really uncontrollable fall in love with SAO...

Such a beautiful world...

I guess If there is a VRMMORPG like SAO,

I will purchase it at no cause...

Currently waiting for 12++ chapters...

I plan I am going to collect this series...

2013 Aug 03: Is that me?

The style of writing the blog is change again~ 

Is this a proof to show that I am changes?

Can I say that A person will change when he/she faced a unsolved question ?

Or A person will change when he/she was too many free time ?

One thing I can conclude that because the person is thinking too much & makes his/her life in trouble.

When I was stopped playing any games, I feel that really nothing to do.

I imagined that if I were stopped watching any videos or reading any comics, I would be felt "Emptiness".

When I furthered by thinking, if there was nothing for me to do, what is the reason for me to live in the world.

Honestly, I like to read comics & watch animations,

because I can experience the different excited part that written by creative people.

When coming to the real people videos,

I getting frustrated with them because they are no longer to fulfill my taste due to the limitation of the presentation skill.

Always,

I feel myself as a wastrel.

     "Always scold by parent since small"

But now,

I am slowly gaining some confident.

Confident to express, to speak, to show.

I do not know what is the reason of me to become 2 different people after studying in university.

because of the birth of  my wisdom teeth?

because of the interest in the computer?

because of the change of environment?

In my opinion,

A guy can be easily felt interested with any pretty girl.

However,

To build a family,

It is not a matter of pretty,

is a matter of able to getting along together for the rest of the life.

Again,

In my opinion,

why people from different state get surprise or feel special when they meet each other?

because the environment makes people feel special.

Further thinking about that,

people like something special in their life.

However,

is the special can always be created in everyday?

Again,

In my opinion,

why people can give up easily when facing a problem?

because they are trained to be like that.

Maybe many people does not aware about that.

Due to the intelligent of our ancestors have created the perfect answer,

no people tends to modify their answer, challenges their answer.

Because everything become standardize!!

There is no longer to be written in the your own creative way.

You must follow the rules & format set by them.

I guess I have found out who am I,

A guy that can sleep for 18 hours.

A guy that can try out many crazy things that is abnormal to other people.

A guy that like to take any challenges.

A guy that like to think for every seconds even in the dream.

A guy that will always changing when experience something difficulty.

A guy that will feel himself as a stranger.

A guy that is perfectionist.

A guy that is insane.

Maybe in the other word can be said like:

A guy that like to trouble his brain.

2013 July

01/07/2013
     Time fly... After finished a series of exams in last week, here come LI... And today is the first day... Undergoes briefing regarding to the company & assignment is given to us in order to test our programming skill level...

03/07/2013
     Not really familiar with the asp.net & c# programming coding, keep on try & trace the error. When supervisor catch up the assignment progress with us, our database is really cincai. & he asks us to redesign the database in the logical & proper manner. Never think that how the database play the important role in a system.

05/07/2013
     Another catch up session with supervisor meanwhile having some discussion & little training about the .net programming architecture

09/07/2013
     Final catch up session with supervisor

12/07/2013
     Presentation due date for the assignment given. E-Claim System. 1 judge & few senior worker watching our presentation. Of course, this is the first time using .net programming language to write a complete system individually. The mistakes are: validation, presentation & simplicity. Judge & senior also share their experience when doing the .net programming too...

17/07/2013
     Having some brief introduction in CRM & Sharepoint with senior

18/07/2013
     2012/2013 semester 2 result was released. As I expected, most of the course get a good grade, meanwhile 1 course was out of my expectation, that is DVP... I hardly accept the grade I scored which was A-... Again, I beat my score for previous sems. However, I was not sure whether I was able to score even better in the following semester.
     Another thing was that, I had assigned to a group. Due to knowledge in using sharepoint is limited, also my laptop OS was not supported sharepoint software, not improve at all...

19/07/2013
     Second time having lunch in a restaurant. Now I only know the different between asam laksa & laksa... Hahahaa... psps...

20/07/2013
     Playing badminton in the morning until noon. Damn tired... and my brother brought his gf to house. Did not have much conversation because she "kidnapped" by my brother to room & having drama together

21/07/2013
     Said goodbye to my laptop, I had sent it to service center for "body check up" before the warranty is over...


22/07/2013
     Started have some better picture in using sharepoint...

23/07/2013
     After train by the senior, finally able to build a simple system. and Learning some advance skill of sharepoint.

24/07/2013
     Create, Edit, Delete features, session, querystring, viewstate, gridview, spweb/site/list.......